Crucial Conversations

Crucial Conversations

Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

Book - 2002
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A seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill. "Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? This book offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any high-impact situation with confidence.--From publisher description.
Publisher: New York : McGraw-Hill, c2002.
ISBN: 9780071401944
Characteristics: xv, 240 p. :,ill. ;,23 cm.
Additional Contributors: Patterson, Kerry 1946-


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Jan 06, 2019

1st of all: This APL webpage with forums and public comments sections is beautiful!

I concur with those whom found this book helpful. Hashtag, emotional IQ; hashtag, relationships; hashtag communic.

VitalSmarts is thier youtube site!!

Aug 16, 2018

A very informally written book: one idea often takes as much as ten pages to write, rather than one paragraph (for example, chapter two , whose idea is that techniques for engaging in crucial conversations constructively are learnable). A major drawback is that the emphasis throughout is what one wants for oneself is always given priority. Another is that the belief of the interlocutor is more important than what the case is (for example, on page 101, it is written "do others believe you respect them?" rather than one actually respecting others and then have them believe that one respects them). There are little advertisements for services from the authors' companies peppered throughout the book. Ultimately, its awkward to apply the lessons for one needs to take extensive notes and carry them around and then in the midst of a crucial conversation pull them out to apply them correctly (perhaps its a case of better awkwardly done than not done at all).

Jun 01, 2017

Life is about relationships and conversations, but when conversations become crucial (high stakes, emotional, and opposite opinions), we tend to do our worst. Get tips on dialogue and emotional intelligence. Also a great reminder when stuck to ask "What crucial conversation am I not holding or not holding well?"

May 08, 2017

This is an awesome book, which helps you identify unhelpful behaviours you may be engaging in, and how to approach dialogue when others are engaging in these unhelpful behaviours.

Mar 27, 2017

This is a great book for improving communications both in your personal life and work. Some commenters believe that this book is common sense but I don't find that to be the case. Sure, it makes perfect sense when you read it and the ideas are simple enough. However, the ideas presented here are not second nature to anyone I know. There is a lot here and it is well worth reading more than once to become truly familiar with the techniques.

JCLAmyF Sep 13, 2016

Highly recommended (at least give it a skim) if you want to communicate more clearly and positively, or if you find yourself in the same types of conversation ruts time and again.

Aug 15, 2015

A very interesting book.

Jul 05, 2013

Finished this June 30 2013.....some good ideas, that are good to keep in mind. "What do I really want!"

xaipe Sep 02, 2012

Most of this book addresses people in the corporate world mainly at the decision-making or managerial level.
I wish that the authors had included non-business situations, but the skills presented can be applied in many other areas.
The authors are four white men, Fortune 500 types, who could have used some input from women and minorities.There are places in the text which give links to online videos depicting conflict situations. It is assumed that readers will form discussion groups and apply their new, book-based skills to solving the problems. There is also a blog for discussion and a downloadable discussion guide. It's interesting that although this book stresses careful attention to feedback, the authors did not elicit any reader feedback that I could determine. I have mixed feelings about this book. I liked many of the conflict tools discussed, but in my opinion their application was not broad enough.

Jun 19, 2012

Has this book been lost? It has not become available for a couple months now.

June 26/12 - still no movement

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